It’s safe to say we’re all being affected in some way by the current Coronavirus crisis. Some more than others, of course, but I imagine this is especially difficult for our children. Now I’m no expert in child psychology, but if like me you’ve been juggling trying to do your normal job at home (a major change for some) whilst also trying to supervise children who are struggling to come to terms with their new school environment, you’re likely to have some choice words to describe how it’s been. Personally I would use words like, frustrating, challenging, different, but also rewarding and satisfying in a strange way. It’s certainly been a good opportunity to spend a bit more quality time with our kids, so I thought I’d give you my thoughts on how to make it more rewarding, and how to make sure we’re making this easier for our children – since they can’t be finding it any less challenging than we are.
How do Your Children Feel About all This?
Regardless of their age, this is likely to be a difficult time for our children. Some might express those feelings straight-away and very clearly, others may show signs of difficulty later on. Much depends on their age, of course, as being able to understand the situation will make it easier for them to deal with the stress or worry. They may worry about their health or that their family are safe and well, especially if they have older relatives who they can’t visit as they used to, and they may have trouble sleeping or eating. It’s important that we look after our children’s mental health and wellbeing in these difficult times, and there are several things we can do to make it easier for them.
The Government has issued a Guidance Note which can be found here, if you want to read a little more into this.
Listen to Them
Children often find it difficult to express how they feel about things, especially when everything around them seems so different. So they will express that emotion in a different way – usually by changing their behaviour. They may get more emotional about things, getting angry, anxious or distressed about things that never bothered them before. They may show different behaviours than usual, for example getting clingier, or have stomach aches or other signs of being poorly. It’s important to look out for these signs and listen to anything that they might say about your child’s mental state. Children often need us to interpret what they are saying for them, so be supportive and actively listen to them as much as you can. As adults, it’s difficult enough to understand and express how we feel about this difficult situation, so you can imagine it’s much harder for them! The only thing you can do here is expect it to be more difficult for your children and give them a supportive environment to talk to you if they want to.
Provide Information About the Situation
Our children want to know that we can keep them safe. After all, that’s our job! The best way to do this is to talk with them about the situation, and don’t get too upset about it yourself. Many people will be feeling anxious or upset about the situation and the best way to help our children is not too show too much of this to them. This is easier said than done, of course, but it might also help us if we act as though we have things under control, and our kids will read those emotional cues and feel safe as a result. Provide honest answers to any questions they might ask and spend time researching/reading about things that you don’t fully understand yourself. Let them watch the news if it helps and check-out any rumours they might hear from friends on good websites such as the BBC. Explain how they can stay safe by washing their hands regularly, for example, and set a good example by doing it yourself. But above all, make sure you are sharing reassuring information, and not too much doom and gloom!
Create a New Routine
Life is going to be different for all of us for a while, and most of us feel safer when we have a routine and know what’s happening a few days ahead. Children are no different and, if they’re currently schooling from home, it’s important to create a new routine. Some ideas for this include:
- Make a plan for the day or week that includes time for schooling, playing and relaxing. Everyone needs some downtime.
- If they are schooling from home, make sure you take advantage of the online resources your school is providing, set a time-table for the day (we’ve found this to be the best way of getting some work done alongside the homeschooling) and ask for more help from the teachers if you need it.
- Help them get active during the day by scheduling some time for exercise. At the time of writing Government guidance is that we can leave the house for one exercise session a day so make the most of that by planning a cycle ride or a walk with your children (making sure to stay safe at all time, of course). It might actually be good for all of us to take the time to do this regularly.
- Keep to existing bedtimes and get up at the same time as normal. This will help the routine and also make it easier to get back to normal.
- Try to avoid giving them too many treats (chocolate etc) to compensate for them being housebound. Difficult I know, especially around Easter, but it’s not good for them and won’t help their mental well-being in the long term.
- Perhaps add a bit of family time to the routine. Play a game or take part in some activity together. We’re all normally so busy that it’s difficult to find time to do things as a family. Take the opportunity of being in the same house together for a little while to do something together – you never know, you might enjoy it!
Life will get back to normal eventually, whatever the new normal will be, and our children will also get through it. Most children are resilient, often more so than us adults, so take time to talk to them, listen to them and look out for them, and we’ll all get through this.
Stay safe.
